Denmark is a small market for advertisers - about 2.2 million households. And with the general cutbacks in advertising budgets due to the financial crisis, the TV channels are hurting. The result is that we're seeing a lot more badly produced ads from companies that have never used television as an advertising medium.
But let's not excuse crappy ads strictly because of low budgets. The fascinating thing is, organizations that can afford decent advertising are spending their money unwisely (i.e. the return is less than the cost). I sometimes think that many advertisers are economizing by bypassing the expensive creative department at their ad agency and going directly to the film producer.
Result? Nice films, lousy messaging. Don't think that "all advertising is good advertising", the Schlitz Brewery, once America's second-largest, actually reported a
downturn in sales among people who could remember their advertising.
Here are seven methods guaranteed to deliver unacceptable results.
1. Irritate viewers
For some reason, this is an incredibly popular technique in Denmark right now. It seems advertisers think that if you yell, scream, and do stupid things, people will love your brand/product. Sorry. Most of you are actually suggesting that your brand or product is as stupid and/or irritating as your spokespersons.
My current "favorite" in this category is the jerk who advertises for the food-chain, Spar. I can't find the more absurd ads on YouTube, but this is the one in which his character is introduced. The basic premise is, that this guy loves his supermarket so much that he decides to "help" the store owner by creating absurdly stupid advertising gimmicks. In this case, it's a new version of the Danish birthday song. Even if you don't understand Danish, you can't help but wish this idiot would disappear:
Message: Don't assume that "dumb" is necessarily entertaining. You cannot irritate people into buying anything. And you may get people to actually boycott your brand! (Ariel, I've still not forgiven you for your awful Helle Virkner ads).
2. Overestimate your brand recognition
When you've built a brand, it's easy to convince yourself that the whole world knows what you do. This is dangerous. The following ad is a classic example of this. The production values are high, the story piques ones curiosity (is she Princess Diana?). But unless you know the brand, the advertising is actually useless.
I have much more to say about this, but I would like you to visit their website first and view the ad they're currently showing on CNN and other international channels. This will open in a new window, so when you're done looking at the ad, come back and read on. Do not explore their site (yet):
http://www.hediard.fr/Corporate/TV_Campaign/
Go back and click on the link above.
Blank line. Don't read ahead until you've seen the ad.
Another blank line.
Gosh, how many blank lines can we afford? Seems like such a waste...
Right. Now that you've seen the ad, tell me what does this company do? Can you remember the name of the brand? I couldn't. And since the ad airs so infrequently, I didn't get a chance to have the name hammered into my conscious mind. (in the ad biz, we talk about OTS - Opportunities To See).
Because I know Paris, I recognized the Place Vendôme (with Napoleon's copy of Trajan's Column in the middle). In the film, this monument seems to be right next to this shop. But no joy. I even used Google's street view and could not find the red awning. All I could remember from the ad was that the brand name started with an "H" and the bags were red.
Searching for luxury brands didn't help either. I was stuck. (and yes, this had become a slightly obsessive quest at this point)
This was my experience. But perhaps you know this brand. What would your reaction be?
Anyway, if you now return to the Hediard site, you'll find that they sell fine foods. And they're on Place Madeleine, just next to another of Paris' fine food shops, Fauchon. No wonder they mislead with the Place Vendôme reference.
Basically, this ad could have been made
much more effective simply by adding some shots of luscious displays within the shop and writing a better narration. It appears, though, that this ad may be an offshoot of an artistic installation produced by Comité Colbert (
http://www.ccolbert.fr/), which aims to promote 70 French luxury brands, but doesn't seem to know much about advertising. It also looks like they ripped off a concept developed for the Texas-based photographer, Matthew Mahon, whose site is well known in Flash communities (
http://www.matthewmahon.com/).
Message: don't assume everyone knows and loves your brand. Telling a story is good. But telling a story that communicates your brand essence is much, much better.
3. Use ineffective sales arguments
Some arguments work, some don't. Some arguments that used to work no longer do. Car safety, for example, is no longer a brand advantage or product position (e.g. Volvo), it's now a prerequisite for all car manufacturers.
These days, there are a variety of anti-smoking campaigns running. Horror and disgust are often the creative keys. Alas, Jerry Bruckheimer's
CSI and
Navy CIS feature so many gory, computer-generated journeys through bullet holes and other bodily damage that it's tough to scare or disgust folks these days. Particularly hard-core smokers. We've seen it all before.
The University of Missouri claims that these scare campaigns work (see
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/11/17/scare-or-disgust-work-best-in-anti-smoking-ads/3360.html). But this is not entirely true. Although Napoleon rightly said that fear and self-interest are the two levers with which one can set a man in motion, the scare campaigns are only effective when people
have already decided to change their behavior; in fact, the "Smoking Kills" message on cigarette packages has actually created a boomerang effect in some markets and increased the number of smokers - the forbidden-fruit-is-attractive syndrome.
The Danish National Board of Health published an excellent review of the problem back in 2004 (see
http://www.sst.dk/publ/div/metodekataloget/skraek_som_virkemiddel.pdf) Alas, it's only in Danish. But Google Translator will help you get the gist.
In short, if you want people to stop smoking, there are more effective ways than scare campaigns. And I speak as a 27-year veteran of the non-filter brigade (Camels, Senior Service). Why do most hard-core smokers finally quit? Because it pegs you as a social loser - the habit is no longer glamorous. It prevents you from getting promotions, it hampers your social life, it makes you stand outside your office building 20 times a day instead of staying inside, exchanging gossip at the water cooler. Most importantly, it signals "stinky and boorish" rather than "suave and sophisticated. Yes. Times change. Check out
Allan Carr's Easy Way to stop smoking for a far more effective method.
Message: If you want to effect behavioural change, don't preach to the choir. Moreover, threats only produce short-term results. True long-term behavioral change comes about by providing a positive alternative to the current situation.
4. Practice pseudocreativity
Sometimes lack of brand promise or genuine product/service advantages encourages advertisers to disguise the lack of message (or lack of a creative idea) behind an artsy-fartsy facade. The folks promoting Abu Dhabi are doing this right now.
We see a fellow in native Arab garb piloting a Mercedes through a Middle-Eastern city. The voice-over was written by a wannabe-poet-turned-copywriter: "As night crackles electric, a million promises are held." The effect is hypnotic, but the commercial message is unclear. In fact, there is no brand promise whatsoever.
In the final frame, we see the name, "Abu Dhabi". Alas, this only appears for a second and almost immediately whites out as the "Abu" in the text blends into the desert background.
What does the UAE want me to do? Should I visit this city? Invest? Shoot a feature film? Complain about their crap advertising on a blog?
Here's the clip. Judge for yourself:
Message: Art is fine, but are you out to entertain or communicate? As advertising guru Rosser Reeves once said, "Do you want art, or do you want the goddam sales curve to go up?"
5. Switch media in mid stream
We all know this scenario: we're watching TV and an ad tells us to visit a web address. No other explanation, only a URL. Or we're reading a magazine and a full page ad displays nothing more than a URL.
Big mistake.
Yes, online/offline convergence is critical in any modern media plan. But when I'm sitting comfortably in front of the TV, don't expect me to boot up my laptop - or even write down the web address. Granted, it's reasonable to let me know where I can go for supplemental information (e.g. the web) . But don't make your address your primary message. Make your message your message!
Message: Make every medium self-sufficient when it comes to stating your case and selling your product or service.
6. Upstage your message
If you've got something to say, say it. Make sure it comes across in clear, unmistakable terms. Unfortunately, a lot of advertisers get so wrapped up in the story they're trying to tell that they forget to give us viewers a concrete call to action. They create scenaria that are so fascinating that the message is pushed to the background.
We've already seen how Hediard and Abu Dhabi blew their budget on ineffectual advertising. In both cases, the message was clearly upstaged by high production values and an artsy-fartsy story. But here's another example that takes things in a decidedly lowbrow direction.
The leading Danish telephone service, Teledanmark - TDC - has introduced two characters in their television ads. They are named Klaus and Britta and are nudists (does TDC thinks nudists represent a core market?). The ads are fascinating, primarily because Britta is played by a well-known male Danish comedian. And Klaus is played by a well-known female comedian. Cross-dressing nudists? Hell of a campaign concept. But the rubber suits are fantastic. See for yourself:
Message: Make sure people remember what you're trying to tell them from a branding/product/service point of view. If they remember your commercials, but not your message, you've lost the battle.
7. Rely on spin and lies
No product or service can rely on one-time sales. You can con folks into buying almost anything once, but you won't get them to buy your stuff a second time. Moreover, the service-industry gurus estimate that every time you have a good experience with a company, you tell three people. But if your experience is bad, you'll end up telling 17.
Right now, L'Oreal is being sued by the Swedish Consumer Protection Agency for their smooth presentation of an anti-wrinkle cream. Dan-Sun, a Danish producer of solariums, is being chastised in the press for making health claims that can't really stand the light of day. And almost all of the Danish banks are working hard to tell prospective customers that they are solid, honest, and are willing to extend credit. Incredible...
Message: Don't lie. Good advertisers don't. Only the amateurs really believe "all advertisers lie".
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